The Graduate Blues

Has anyone got the graduate Blues? We’ve all had three years of an amazing experience, the experience of our lives. We’ve had intellectual conversations, smoked copious amounts of cannabis experimented with every drug under the sun, woke up at 3 in the afternoon as a routine of habit all whilst living in the immediate doing thought that one day this paradise will end, one day we will have to grow up and get jobs. Well it’s now setting into the February and I can safely empathise with all graduates out there of the blues that is surrounding you. Remember that time you went out for one beer on a Tuesday afternoon and ended up bringing thirty people back to your house at 5am for a massive house party, well that shit isn’t going to happen anymore. Sometimes I wish I did something more sensible with my life like doing an apprenticeship of studying a course in university that wouldn’t get me stuck in a sales job for which they only recruit graduates as a way to keep out the chavs. My degree taught me nothing relevant to my job other than giving me the luxury of a three year holiday, a lifestyle that only could be matched by that of a multi-millionaire, which I hope to God will one day become the life of my own because mediocrity sucks.


Obviously there is a tier system to the graduate blues based on how well prepared you were leaving university ; tier one of the graduate blues involves the university students who went to elite universities studied courses that were relevant to their degrees probably had an internship of some kind and are now working in highly paid jobs, tier two we have those from mid-ranged universities who perhaps didn’t study the most relevant degree or did not leave with enough work experience or a came from a bad university with a decent amount of work experience and are now doing jobs that either do not pay that well or are not doing what they want to do, tier three involves students who studied at bad universities with a relevant degree/good work experience or a Russell Group university with a doss degree these people are flooding the job market with administration, marketing and real estate and most of all recruitment (jobs that typically would have been taken up by non-graduates), tier four involves the people who really screwed around at university and made no preparations for graduation these people are either on the dole or working in bars/restaurants/retail. There are of course exceptions to the rules there are those who have delayed the inevitable by doing a masters, doing a teacher training course to avoid the horrible job market.

Regardless of all this being a graduate sucks, I want to be taken off to a time machine back to first year and repeat the last three years of my life, I’d like to think I’d do better but I’d probably just end up getting pissed and smoking weed all day anyway all over again. It would be nicer if I hadn’t studied a course so ridiculously useless, or perhaps the course itself would have had better job prospects. But that’s the problem we blame ourselves for studying these degrees that get us nowhere with debt that we’ll almost certainly never pay back, when in fact this option probably should have never been open to us. The state shouldn’t be funding micky mouse courses that essentially get us know here in life, courses should only be funded and loans should only be given if there is a real prospect of us paying back this debt. Studying philosophy and ancient Celtic history is great and all but just pick up some books and read you don’t need a degree to gather some interest in that field. We need engineers, scientists even bricklayers not media studies graduates. So who do we blame for all of this? Well in my opinion it’s simple, Tony Blair. Now some of you may be thinking, but if it wasn’t for Blair you wouldn’t have your amazing three year holiday, well that may be true but then again if it wasn’t for drug dealers pushing heroin we wouldn’t have any drug addicts. Tony Blair gave me an easy way out and that was my choice as it was everyone else’s but the state has a role to ensure we all have a future contributing to the economy, which at present it does nothing towards. Enjoy the graduate blues everyone.


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