Ed Miliband has by all accounts being deemed the greatest hope for the left-wing community in the UK since the demise of the revolutionary Brown era. It could be said that the true red blood runs through Ed, as it did his father Ralph Milliband. It is therefore within the heart and mind that the state schooled, Marxist raised, opposition leader will be the force of change; as has become apparent in prime minister’s questions, the defence of tax avoiders which David Cameron ruthlessly condemned, the appearance at the Durham Miners’ Gala (the first Labour leader to address them in 21 years), and a majestically nasal voice, the true tone of a working class hero. He remarks “if you want to be a hero then just follow me”.
Some may argue that he is not as I proclaim he is not a hero, no he is not a Marxist, no he is not a revolutionary. Their explanation for this is he is not charismatic; he shows no signs of leadership and has not really provided any polices other than nit-picking against the coalition’s everyday procedures. Well I say to you, citizens of England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland, do not be fooled by Milliband’s incompetence, it is all a secret ploy in to bringing the Tories into a false sense of security. Then when no one suspects it, Eddy will come out with handful of useless policies and will sure himself a loss in the next election. Now all he has to do is repeat these actions over three elections until Labour finds someone useful.
Of course Milliband in the private sphere will never blow his cover of being a charismatic political genius, as will dampen this mission. This plan has been arrange my Ralph Milliband since the birth of his two sons; he realises to himself, David is charismatic forward thinking and has a good head for politics. The only problem is it is too good he is sure to win an election if elected as Labour leader; he thinks what now I should do. Of course Ed, he has no intelligence, no charisma, if I can get him into Oxford then this plan could work. Now some of you may be thinking, “Okay Rob calm down, this all seems a little bit far-fetched”, and the fact is yes it is far-fetched but it needs to be far-fetched so that it makes no logical sense to perform such an action thus not producing any productive results.
Think about it when have you ever heard of Ed Milliband’s trouble of drug use or sleeping with a great deal of women in university. It doesn’t happen and there’s a reason why it doesn’t happen that’s because Ed Milliband is a loser, a huge loser and will not get anywhere. There are some, who believe this may go even further, that the Milliband’s actions have something to do with some Zionist conspiracy. Now I’m not validating that theory myself but I believe it may be a good idea to throw that into this article with no evidence whatsoever, and let the thought ponder into your mind.
After reading this in great detail you may think, “I don’t see the evidence anywhere for your theories, you provide no citations. In fact this may even seem like some kind of drivel you made up whilst you were high.” Well I wouldn’t disprove that theory because I do believe there are realms of credibility in that argument, but that alone has no evidence other than me admitting it is true. But in your gut think about this, would Labour after becoming a shadow of their former self following trade unions being shattered to the ground, after selling out on every socialist issue; completely abandoning the entire ideology all together with New Labour, after Tony Blair being replaced with a leader who has the charismatic qualities of a brick wall would Labour really elect someone as useless as Ed Milliband without any reason?